Hangin' Tough

Everything you need to make a gallery wall – except art.

The wall along our staircase was fully naked for four years.

It's not that we didn't have things to hang there, it's that walls along staircases don't have nice easy straight perpendicular lines. They're freaking angled. But most things we hang are rectangular. This all is very annoying and made me anxious about hanging anything there.

So I ignored it. I didn't have time to futz around with this nonsense. Then I quit my job and had time to futz with it.

It looks 100% good enough. In the interest of saving you some headaches, here was my (pretty successful) strategy.

First, get your roll of craft paper. If you don't have a roll of craft paper, you can use paper grocery bags, or wrapping paper, or cardboard, whatever.

Next, grab a marker, maybe even your favorite marker. If you don't have a favorite marker you should get one. Favorite markers are great.

Gather all of your art pieces.

Now, spread out your paper and set your framed pictures on it.

TRACE the frames onto the paper and cut them out, Use your favorite scissors. (But not your fabric scissors, what? were you raised in a barn??)

Not pictured: the profanity involved in this process.

Now, listen, this part is a little awkward. With a yardstick, measure from the chair rail or, if you don't have a chair rail, from the step risers with a tape measure, to the height you want the center focus of your art to be. In other words, how high do you want the biggest frame to hang? Find that spot and identify the midpoint of the frame. Mark it and measure to that same height from every stair.

Run a long piece of painters tape to connect those marks. Check it with a ruler, tape measure and/or a level. Swear because somehow it's still not quite right. Adjust the tape. Adjust it again. Repeat until it's good enough.

Take a break, eat lunch, watch a bad movie, take a nap.

Now, take the pieces of craft paper and begin to tape them to the wall along the tape line. Move them around to your heart's content. Make sure you label them with what art they correspond with. If you notice spaces leftover, go to the thrift store and pick up some frames or art or a mirror. Bring those home and make more paper rectangles. Add them to the wall. Once it seems to work, live with it for a day or two, not just because you want to make sure that the proportions are right but because that was annoying and you deserve a break.

Now, was that so hard? No, but I'm not redoing it ever.

Whenever you're ready, get to work hanging. Follow the "map" on your wall. If you thought ahead, maybe you marked where the hanging wire is on each frame on the paper and you can just go from that.

Hang it all up, be very proud of yourself. Show photos to all of your friends. Wait another three years (until today) to tackle the much smaller and easier space under the stairs because that's how it's done here at House Half Assed.